This Peanut Thing.....

This is the one and only blog post that I am allowing for me to complain and feel sorry for myself about Emma's allergy.  Any post after this about her Peanut Allergy, will be to share information only.  So hear it goes....
I feel like I need to start by saying that in my head, I know that things could be a lot worse.  I have a sweet friend from the hospital whose daughter is a couple of months younger then Emma.  Her little girl is allergic to wheat, diary, eggs, and unfortunately the list keeps growing for them.
But the frustrating, sad, irritating thing about a peanut allergy is the unknown. We could have a food that the ingredients don't even include a nut, but if it is made in a facility that also has peanuts, Emma can't eat it for fear of cross contamination.  Which is why we have to read every label to not only check the ingredients, but to check how it was manufactured.  I did some grocery shopping for the first time today, and trying to read labels during the busy holiday season is not the easiest things to do.  I got many dirty looks from shoppers who thought I was taking too long picking out food.  Unfortunately we will have to do this every time.  Food manufacturers change all the time how they process foods, so just because it was safe this time, doesn't mean it will be safe next month.
Grandma Chris watched Emma for me the day after her allergy appointment so I could take some newborn photos.  She of course went through her pantry to see what was "safe" for Emma to eat and she told me even chocolate chips had the warning.  I was planning on doing some big Christmas Baking this week, so my first thought was we can't even make chocolate chip cookies.  Now I am sure many of you are laughing.  You all know that I am not big on giving Emma sweets.  But this is Christmas and is she never suppose to have a chocolate chip cookie because there is a CHANCE that it touched a peanut?  Then my next thought was Halloween.  Is she even going to be able to have Halloween Candy?  Again, I know in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal, but for us in our tiny bubble this is where my thoughts have been this week.
Well, I am happy to report that we will be baking chocolate chip cookies.  Hershey brand chocolate chips are safe (found them at Walmart, but not Frys) and the Frys brand of chocolate chips are safe also.
My satisfaction in finding these magical chocolate chips, was short lived when I accepted that Emma can't eat anything from a bakery.  No birthday cake, no cupcakes, no getting a cookie while I grocery shop.  The chance of cross contamination is again so high in bakeries.  It would be so easy for a peanut butter cookies to touch the sugar cookie next to it, a walnut fall off a cake onto what ever is next to it, or even the workers using the same gloves to package the peanut butter cookies and then use them for the next item.  I know these reason seem so extreme, but Emma didn't even react from eating a nut.  She ate a piece of dried fruit that touched the nut, which is what happens in the bakeries.  Trying to convince myself that she would be ok having a piece of birthday cake at a party, I told myself that she has had it before and been just fine.  But then I realized that Robert and I aren't big cake eaters, so she really hasn't had very much.  Really just a bite here and there.  As she gets older, she will be eating more of these things at one time and eventually her own piece.  I am sure right now, she would have no problem eating the majority of a cupcake all by herself!  So if her cupcake did touch a nut, she will have eaten enough of it to cause a reaction.  Does that make since?  So we will be baking all our own desserts and bringing a cupcake with us for Emma to eat when we go to birthday parties, as well as making sure we have plenty of snacks, and probably even the Annie's Instant Mac and Cheese, just in case. 
I also found out that Chic-fil-A, and the hamburger place 5 Guys,  cooks everything in Peanut Oil.  Who would have thought that chicken nuggets, hamburgers, and french fries would be a problem?  Again, not places we eat at, but it just reminds me that I have to ask restaurants how food is cooked, and ask them to be very careful when they make Emma's food. 
People have asked me if it would have made a difference if I was able to have breast fed her.  Honestly there are studies that show both.  There is even a study that just came out that said that moms who ate peanuts while pregnant had a greater instance of having kids that developed peanut allergies.  But then of course there is a study that says the opposite is true.  So it is still unclear why some kids develop food allergies, and others don't.
So I am just hoping that she is in the small percentage that out grows it.  Not only for obvious reasons, but I fast forward to her in school, and her classroom being singled out as a peanut free room because she has a peanut allergy.  Some schools even go as far as to having peanut free lunch tables.  I would feel terrible if the kids in her class couldn't bring a peanut butter sandwich to school.
So I am sad, and coming to terms of a new way of everyday life.  I feel like I am now watching for any signs of a reaction every time she eats something.  But then she starts dancing, or doing something silly, and it reminds me that she is a happy, and for the most part, healthy girl, and really, that is all that matters.